


Suit up!

by Someone_you_loved



Series: Supercorp-tober/December 2019 [12]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Supercorptober2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 09:21:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21116417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Someone_you_loved/pseuds/Someone_you_loved
Summary: Kara just wanted one night where everything just went right. Lena finds out Kara died a few months ago. How will she take the news?





	Suit up!

Kara clenched the balcony railing in her hand until she felt it crunch under her fingertips. This was the fourth time this week alone that Lena had stayed late at work and blown off their plans. She knew that her girlfriend was very involved with her work honestly, she did. But was it too much to ask for ONE single night together? She just missed holding her and talking with her. 

The clock read 1:34am when she heard the front door open and close. The lights were all off because she’d hoped to appear sleeping when Lena got home. But she heard the lamp on the other side of the bed turn on. “Babe are you up?” Lena whispered. “No,” she said pulling the blankets up. “Do you wanna talk about whatever made you mad?” She took a breath to try and calm herself. Her hands were practically shaking under the covers already. 

“Ok or not. The meeting with the investors didn’t go well. We have another late night tomorrow probably. I wish they’d just decide what they want to do and be done with it.” Kara heard her moving around and changing out of her skirt and blouse. “I knew I’d have long nights and it’s fine but. It’s been like a week.” “Actually it’s been four.” 

For the first time she met Lena’s eyes and she knew it was clear on her face she was pissed. “Four what?” “Four. Fucking. Weeks.” “It hasn’t been that long Kar you’re being dramatic.” She stepped out of the closet in a tshirt and shorts. “I’m being dramatic? You’re kidding me.” 

“I know I’ve been busy but it’s the season babe.” “Don’t babe me. You missed three game nights, you’ve blown off ten dinners, and you aren’t even here when I wake up!” She was sitting up in bed now. 

“Kar I’m sorry.” “You’re sorry? Why are we even living together? I don’t see you unless I have a fucking interview! You work through lunch AND dinner every single night!” “Well I’m sorry I have to do my job,” her arms folded over her chest and Kara did something she never ever did. She got out of bed and stormed over to where Lena was leaning in the doorframe. 

She knew the blue in her eyes was probably gone the more upset she got. “I guess I should have known your job was always going to be your first priority. Silly me to think I could mean more than your company.” She turned on her heel and grabbed her sweatshirt off the chair by the bed.

“You are important to me!” “Oh yea? Am I really? So you missing our anniversary was just a fluke then?” She could see the shock on Lena’s face. “Kar... I... fuck i fucked up. I’m sor-“ She our a hand up, “Save it. I don’t want to hear it. The world wasn’t ending, I would know if it was. It was important enough to me that I took the night off from the DEO. It was me who made plans for us. It meant something to me. Clearly I’m the only one who cares. Maybe we shouldn’t be together.” Her arms folded over her chest as she saw panic rise on Lena’s face. 

She made her way over to Kara quickly and put a hand on her arm. Which Kara promptly pulled out of her grasp, “Don’t touch me.” “Kara please. It was an honest mistake! You know I love you!” “Do I? You haven’t talked to me in weeks. You aren’t home. You can’t make space in your life for me Lena. I can’t keep doing this.” 

“So I have to choose? You or work? That’s not fair kara.” Kara could feel her heart breaking with each word spoken. “If I had to choose between you and supergirl, I would choose you every. Single. Time.” “But you haven’t!” “Yes I have! When it was you or the chemicals in the plane! I would have dropped those chemicals every single time! When you were poisoned, I flew as Kara Danvers! I would give up everything for you! Because you are EVERYTHING to me!” “You’d hang up your cape right now?” 

“If you asked me to I would!” Lena ran a hand through her hair and sighed, “I can’t give up everything I’ve worked for Kara. It’s my legacy.” “You don’t feel the same way I do.” “Kara you know I love you.” She turned away from her and looked out the window as a tear rolled down her cheek. 

“I always thought you’d understand. You’ve been close to death so many times. I thought you could appreciate time more than you do. But you don’t. You’d rather spend every waking minute at L-Corp.” “Kara come on. You knew how my job was when we started dating. I’ve worked hard to fix what lex did.” Kara could feel all the fight leaving her body and her shoulders sagged. 

Her eyes drifted up towards the moon as her voice came out softer. “Lex will always tear us apart.” “He’s dead Kara he can’t get to us any more.” “Death is a funny thing. It’s not always permanent.” “What do you mean?” “Well I’m standing here aren’t I?” “Excuse me? What does that even mean?”

Kara let her words sink in before she continued. “Last year I was fighting red daughter. And she killed me. I died in Midvale with Alex screaming over me. She didn’t even remember who I was until my heart stopped. I’m done being afraid to live because I don’t know when it’ll be my time to go. I thought you would understand that it’s a 50/50 chance of me coming home every day. But you don’t feel the same way. You don’t have the same priorities. And it’s ok, it’s your life too. I shouldn’t have assumed and I shouldn’t have figured you would change for me. I don’t fit into your life Lena. I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I truly hope L-Corp does everything you’ve set out to do. I need some time.” 

She heard Lena move towards her but she rocketed out the balcony window and into the night sky as she pulled her glasses off to let her suit appear. She could hear Lena push the button on her watch and for the first time she ignored it. Alex would be alerted and she would check on Lena if it was an actual issue. 

Sobs racked her body as she pushed harder to put space between herself and National City. Her phone was vibrating in her boot but she ignored it too. When she’d landed on top of a water tower in Florida she took out her phone and checked it. 15 missed calls, 5 from Lena and 10 from Alex. She had fifty text messages and they were still climbing. 

She shot off a text to Alex saying she needed time and she’d be back if there was anything supergirl related. Then she shut off her phone and laid down to look up at the sky. Her eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep. 

The next morning she woke with the sun and made her way back to national city. She listened for Lenas heartbeat in the penthouse and didn’t hear one. She slipped inside and gathered up her clothes and small belongings leaving no trace of herself behind. She wrote a note and left it on the kitchen counter, ‘I wish things could be different. I’ll always love you. I truly wish you nothing but the best. -K’

Kara made her way back to her barely used apartment and for the first time locked the door. She set her stuff down and fell back on her bed. A knock pulled her out of her thoughts and she used her X-ray vision to see it was Alex. “Go away Alex.” “Kara let me in.” “I don’t want to talk to you.” 

Kara cursed herself as she heard a key jingling in the door and it swung open. She pulled the blankets over her head as she heard boots clacking on the floor towards her room. “Kara you can’t just fly off. Lena’s worried sick about you.” “I’m not her problem anymore.” “Kara what happened?” The bed dipped as she felt her sister sit next to her. 

“I don’t want to talk about it! Ok?! We’re not together anymore. End of story. Leave me alone!” She flipped the blankets off herself and got out of bed and started pacing. But alex didn’t move to get off the bed. 

“She doesn’t have room in her life for me. She can’t even make it to one dinner reservation Alex! One! For our anniversary! She’s never home, not even when I wake up in the morning sometimes. She’s missed ten dinners Alex, date nights, game nights. She doesn’t have time for us, for this. She doesn’t love me how I love her. She’s my entire world Alex and I’m not hers.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks as her sister made her way over and hugged her tight. 

“Kara, Lena loves you. She just has her own way of going about showing it. You know she loves you.” “I can’t be with her anymore. It hurts too much Alex. I love her more than anything in the world. If she asked me to stop being Supergirl I would without a second thought. I could see everything with her. Getting married, building a house together, having kids. I wanted it all with her, but she doesn’t want the same things.” “Kar, did you ever tell her that?” 

“How could I when she can’t even be bothered to come home and cuddle with me for ten minutes? I’ve talked to the waitress at noonan’s more than I have my own girlfriend in the past week. I can’t do it anymore Alex. I’m not meant to be both Kara Danvers and Supergirl. I don’t get the happy ending. I don’t get the girl.” She tried to hold onto some semblance of her emotions but tears were sliding down fast and she couldn’t breathe. The arms tightened around her and she held onto her sister. 

“I’m going to stay at the fortress for awhile. If you need me I’ll keep my DEO phone on but I need some time away from everyone. I need time to grieve ok?” Alex was frowning but she nodded, “Don’t disappear. I need you Kar. So many people need you.” She nodded and wiped her tears away. It didn’t take long to pack a backpack and then she was stepping out her window and flying south. 

Kara had kept her personal phone off the entire three weeks she was gone. Alex checked up on her everyday on her DEO phone and told her that she really should talk to Lena. But she always brushed it off and said she would be home soon. She was spending her time going through the archives and learning anything she might have missed before. 

By Friday she was repacking up her bag and stepping out into the snow. It was a quick flight back to National City and she passed L-Corp out of habit. She didn’t hear Lena’s heartbeat and that was unusual. She flew past the penthouse and didn’t hear her there either. Alex would have told her if something happened to Lena surely. 

She touched down at her apartment and the heartbeat she had searched for was there. How the hell had she gotten inside? Her boots touched down in her bedroom and she knew Lena was listening for her. There was a shuffling in the living room and she dropped her bag on her bed as she started to unpack it. 

“Kara where were you? I was so worried…” “You shouldn’t be here Lena.” “Kara please. I’m begging you. I’ll do anything.” “There’s nothing to talk about. I was stupid to think this would work between us. You don’t have the time for me, for us.” “Kara I’ll make time. I swear. I hired a CFO so I can have more time at home. I won’t stay late I promise. Please Kar, i miss you so much it hurts. I can’t do this without you.” 

Tears were streaming down her cheeks and Kara ached to make her feel better. But her own heart ached so badly. She sat on the edge of her bed and felt it dip next to her as Lena sat next to her. “Please Kara, talk to me. I can’t live without you. I’ll sell L-Corp, right now. You’re the only thing I need.” Lena’s hand rested on her knee and she flinched. 

“Lena it isn’t just a simple sorry. I was ready to marry you. I wanted everything with you. I would choose you over the entire world.” She was fighting back tears as she talked. “Kara I’m so sorry. You’ve always meant everything to me. Please I can’t live without you.” She rested her hand on top of Lena’s, “We can’t just pick up where we left off.” “That’s ok. I want to earn back your trust and your love.” “I’ve always loved you and I always will.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes as the tears subsided. Kara squeezed her knee gently. “I’ve lost my entire world before, my reason for living. I can’t do it again Lena. When I was at the fortress I decided that I couldn’t be Supergirl and Kara Danvers if I didn’t have you. There’s nothing left for me as Kara if I can’t be with you.” “Kara you have friends and a life. You have things to live for even if I’m not in your life.” “I’m an alien, not a human. I have no desire to lead a human life if you aren’t in it.” “Your writing matters. You make a difference in the world with your words.” “It’s not enough Lena. I can just save people and it’ll be enough.” 

“What about when we end up together forever?” “Then I’ll hang the cape up when you ask me to.” “You would do that for me?” “Yes. It’s not even a question. I’ve died before and I just want to live life to the fullest. You make me the happiest Lena.” She nodded and Kara stroked her cheek. “We can try but… I don’t want to jump back in where we were.” Green eyes sparkled at her, “I’m willing to start with one date night a week if that’s what you want.” Kara nodded, “Ok. We can start with dates. No sleepovers yet and no sex.” Lena frowned slightly but then nodded, “Ok. I can do that.” 

It had been six weeks since their talk last and true to her word Lena was making an effort, a huge effort. They had date night every Saturday and they’d have lunch at least twice a week if not more. Sometimes she would show up at CatCo with lunch for the two of them and that made Kara the happiest. She could hear her heartbeat the second she’d get on the elevator. 

Kara was working on an article about Cadmus when she heard the click clack of her girlfriend’s heels. She looked up and felt her heart stutter in her chest at the sight of her. Lena had on a tight black dress that fit every curve of hers perfectly. She stepped into Kara’s office, “Close the door behind you.” One perfect eyebrow curved upward but she shut the door behind herself and locked it. 

Kara got up and crossed the room to meet her girlfriend. She wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist and set her on her desk. Her lips moved enthusiastically against her girlfriends and she slid her hand up her thigh. A moan escaped Lena’s lips and Kara swallowed it with her own mouth. 

Kara bit her bottom lip gently and felt Lena’s fingers slide into her hair. “Kar we can’t. We’re at work.” “I don’t care about work. I want you.” Lena moaned as Kara moved her lips down the column of her throat. “Fuck Kar, I want you too.” She gently tugged Lena’s bottom lip between her teeth and was rewarded with a tongue sweeping into her mouth. 

Her hands slid up Lena’s thighs and she pulled her closer; fitting herself between Lena’s legs. “Kara, please.” She kept moving her mouth against Lena’s and let their tongues move together. Her fingers crept higher on Lena’s thigh and she couldn’t help but smirk. 

Kara stepped away quickly as she heard a pounding on the door. “Ponytail! Interview at six downtown.” “Yes sir. On it.” With a groan she grabbed up her notebook and slung her bag over her shoulder. “Rain check?” 

Lena stood and smoothed out her skirt, “Rain check.”

**Author's Note:**

> Had a great time writing this! Thanks for reading and taking time


End file.
